Payback is Hell....

Here's my recommendation to the U.S. taxpayers who are suddenly being forced to bail out a wayward and poorly managed financial industry to help the world economy avoid an economic depression. For years these bankers have been making poor decisions with their money while engaging in usary practices against their middle-class customers and charging exhorbitant fees on many transactions. Now they come to us, the people, asking not for a loan but for a handout in the amount of $700 Billion. The number is so large, we can't really fathom how big it is.

$700 Billion =

- Ten times what we spend annually on Education
- Twice what we spend annually on National Defense
- 100 times what we spend on the Environment
- Twenty times what we spend on Homeland Security
- Ten times what we spend on infrastructure
- Twenty times what we spend on our veterans

Yet here are these banks with their hands out to us. Could you imagine walking into a bank and telling a manager that you've gambled away all your money and owe more on your assets than they are worth, and, to avoid your own bankruptcy, the bank should just give you that all that money back with no questions asked, no oversight, and no promises of repayment. How would that conversation end?

So here is my recommendation on this bailout. Granted it's unlikely to get much interest from these bankers, but then beggars cannot be choosers, and payback is hell...

Let's loan these banks the $700 Billion using the same terms found on the back of one of their own credit card offers. We will loan it to them interest free for 12 months, at which point we will begin charging them interest anywhere from 6.99% to 10.99%, depending on the quality of their credit at the time. If any of the banks should be late by even ONE DAY for an expected payment, then they will be charged a fee equal to 3% of the remaining balance and their annual interest rate will jump to 24.99%. If they are late on any payment by more than 30 days, the home and cell phone numbers of their chief executive and his staff will be provided to the people who may call them anytime between 7:00 a.m. and 6:30 p.m. to ask where our money is. And we don't have to be nice.

You Can't Handle The Truth!

In one of the greatest film scenes of all times, Jack Nicholson admonishes a younger, saner Tom Cruise that American's "can't handle the truth." The great thing about fiction is that integrity and truth always get to win, and Nicholson's character goes to jail for lying. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we held our political leaders to the same standards that we hold our fictional characters?

This issue is generally a bipartisan one, and it's easy to point out equally in both parties the politicians who regularly bend the truth. Barack Obama and Joe Biden play this game better than most. You practically have to stand around the corner from them to hear what they are saying. But the game has always been about shading the truth with a quote or a stance that has at least some factual evidence while leaving out the less interesting whole story. That's part and parcel in politics, and most people accept that politicians ride the ragged edge of honesty. However, what we've witnessed from the Bush administration in the past eight years is clearly a policy of lie first, dissemble if necessary, and cite executive privilege or national security whenever you receive a subpeona.

That's what is quickly dragging down Governor Palin's approval numbers. Immediately after the Republican convention, she was the most popular celebrity in America, and for good reason. As I mentioned in an earlier post, her background represents a large section of our population who have been invisible for a long time. However, she is quickly falling from the pedestal of popular support mostly due to her repeated lies but also due to her refusal to answer questions. Palin doesn't shade the truth with a bit of evidence, she blatantly contradicts herself and John McCain on virtually every issue raised. From her support for the "bridge to nowhere," to how she accepted the invitation as McCain's running mate, to her involvement in "Troopergate."

When I was a young boy, my mother and I were watching a movie in which a man jumped from the top of a tall building to commit suicide. I told my mother, "Gee, that would be fun!" To which my mother could only utter a horrified "WHAT?" I calmed her with the reply, "Well, at least until you reached the bottom." Palin is not walking the ragged edge of honesty in her political speeches, she has leaped with arms wide off the cliff and is now hurtling at terminal velocity toward her political demise, dragging McCain's campaign with her.

In this past week, Palin has shown her colors in her only legitimate television interview since the nomination. She has been caught in an ever increasing number of lies, and she and her husband are now refusing to honor subpeona's for their testimony in the Troopergate scandal. This sounds eerily familiar to Americans who have watched Bush, Cheney and their staffs do the same thing. Do we really need another vice president who doesn't know how to tell the truth?

Polls and Polls

The Media is abuzz with the new poll numbers that show John McCain pulling ahead, but a quick check of the facts demonstrates my assertion that all major news media outlets have a vested interest in making this a horse race rather than report the basic facts.

All the numbers show that McCain is doing better than he was last week, but that's to be expected following the Convention. The fact that he didn't pull ahead by four to five points in every poll continues to show the weakness of his campaign overall. Let's wait a week to ten days and look at the numbers again. They'll show a more accurate overall standing of the two candidates in the national horse race.

Keep in mind, however, that national polls only show the overall opinion of the two candidates among all likely voters in the U.S. The only poll that actually counts in this election is the one the Electoral College makes after the national election.

Polsters' Dirty Little Secret

Like many political enthusiasts, I've been following the current political process like a rabid sports fan playing fantasy football. The polls are my scoreboard and any uptick by one side or the other elicits either standing cheers or woeful groans.


Unfortunately, the current polls have a big problem in their scorekeeping method that falsely skews the numbers in John McCain's favor. For those who have a financial stake in keeping the race close (news media, political fundraisers, etc.) this little handicapping method is conveniently overlooked. However, a careful observation of the polling process shows the errors.

First, polsters do not call cell-phones. That means that households without landlines will never be polled. How big of an issue is this? According to a report published last December by Stephen Bloomberg, a senior scientist at the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention*, one in eight American households have cell phones but lack traditional land lines. That's 12.5% of the total population.

Polsters argue that they mathematically adjust their numbers to account for this missing population. However, these polsters assume that this population votes the same way as similar demographic groups. Here's the problem with that. According to Bloomberg, this population is more likely to be "young, poor, male, and Hispanic." In addition, "11 percent of whites and 14 percent of black adults had only cell phone service." A third of adults under 30 had only cell phones. This group describes a demographic that supports Barack Obama by more than 60 percent.

That un-polled support may only affect the numbers by a few overall percentage points, but in a race that has been tied for much of the past few months, those few points are significant. So be careful when you see poll numbers published by television news, especially cable news.



*As published on cnn.com (December, 2007).

Palin's Female Troubles

Depending on which side of the political spectrum you view McCain's Vice Presidential choice Sarah Palin, she is either a plain spoken, anti-establishment Governor who will energize the Republican party and instill true blue American values in the White House, or she is a hopelessly cynical, completely unqualified, right-wing fanatic who will drag John McCain's candidacy down like an anchor.

Either way, we'll know which one is right in 60 days. What is evident is that Republicans believe the choice of Palin will attract female voters and undecided independents who prefer personality over substance, the same voters who went solidly for George Bush in the last two elections. It's no surprise then that George Bush's number one speech writer, Mathew Scully, is the one who wrote Governor Palin's acceptance speech. For the Republican establishment, she is the best of both political fantasies. She is the reincarnation of George Bush, with lipstick.

Let's not dismiss the attraction of Palin. She represents a portion of our population that has been invisible in politics for a long time. She is a working mother who loves her family, has conservative values, is treated with respect by her husband, and isn't afraid to stand up to the good ol' boys. She is the kind of tough, single-minded, country girl character who has been venerated in our culture for generations. She is Annie Oakley, Susan B. Anthony and Dolly Parton.

Do not assume that her inexperience and extreme-right values will drive voters away from her. On the contrary, she has clearly energized the Republican religious conservatives who have thus far been taciturn about the McCain candidacy. That base combined with independent voters who are suspicious of Obama's intentions make this a closer election than history would otherwise indicate.

Nevertheless, the selection of Palin demonstrates a basic misconception about the female vote. While conservative female voters love her, independent and liberal female voters see the selection as a cynical attempt to attract their vote while assuming women are too politically inept to examine her political positions and values. Female voters, much more so than their male counterparts, despise politicians who patronize them, especially female politicians. Sarah Palin praises Hillary Clinton's historic campaign in one breath, and then proposes to roll back or fight every feminist issue that Hillary Clinton stands for.

American women are much smarter than that. American women have fought for equal rights to vote, to fair pay, to workplace equality and for the basic human liberty of choosing what happens to their own bodies. Yet there only 12 female CEO's in the Fortune 500, and none in the top 30. There still does not exist a law that requires equal pay for equal work, and access to healthcare and pre- and postnatal services are being cut drastically by a male dominated US government. Sarah Palin is not a symbol of change for these issues, she is a striking reminder of them.

Bipartisan Humor

In the midst of an election season, where so many are so divided about social and political values, it's easy to forget that we are all Americans who essentially want the same thing, a strong country where Freedom, Justice and Democracy serve as shining examples that the rest of the world will strive to emulate.

We may be divided on how to achieve those things, but we ALL, Conservatives, Independents and Liberals alike agree on the ultimate goal.We are the only nation in the world that has regularly scheduled political revolutions. It's ugly, painful, divisive and destructive, but it's also very, very funny. Let us also not forget to laugh at ourselves during this Quadrennial celebration of our democracy, for ultimately it is laughter that will bring us together as a nation.

Here is bipartisan list of recent bumper stickers that are clever, witty or just plain poke fun at our election. Enjoy!

-- "If you can read this, thank a teacher; if you can read it in English, thank a soldier."

-- "Don't steal, this government hates competition."

-- "MY kid wants to be President, I told him to aim higher."

-- "Politicians and Diapers need to be changed for the same reason."

-- "Work Harder! Millions on Welfare depend on you."

-- "Jesus was a community organizer, Pontius Pilate was a governer"

-- "Whose taxes would Jesus cut?"

-- "Barack and his crazy uncle for President!"

-- "The audacity of hype!"

-- "SNOBama"

-- "Obama, Right Candidate, Wrong Country"

-- "My grandparents are Republicans, but I still love them anyway."

-- "Only a Liberal could turn a Terrorist into a Victim."

-- "RIP Habeus Corpus: 1215-2006"

-- "Stevenson, McGovern, Mondale, Dukakis, Kerry... Obama, the Tradition Continues"

-- "RFTP: Republicans for Teenage Pregnancy!"

-- "Introducing Sarah Palin, George Bush.... In a Skirt!"

-- "Muslims for Barack Obama"

-- "Liberals: One per Day, One in Possession."

-- "Bet you vote THIS time, huh Hippy?"